Mates in Minutes

They said i couldn’t do it..i said piss off! Here is my little social experiment for all the world to see. I have gone around and got just about everyone i’ve wanted to be on my site. I photograph and film all my content myself..and as you can see, i like it raw! Check out the guys i’ve got so far… Your tour guide, magik mike

A New mission every week!

LIVE INTERACTIVE VIDEO CHAT!

These Girls Do Anything You Want
 

40-ish………………………………………49
Adventurous……………..Slept with all your mates
Athletic………………………………..No tits
Average looking……………Has a face like an arse
Beautiful………………………Pathological liar
Contagious Smile………………Does a lot of pills
Educated………………..Was fucked to bits at University
Emotionally Secure………………….On medication
Feminist……………………………Bad hair and no dress sense
Free spirit………………………………Junkie
Friendship first……………………..Former slut
Fun……………………………………Annoying
Gentle……………………………………..Dull
Good Listener…………………………..Autistic
New-Age………………………..Body hair problems
Old-fashioned……………………..No Blow Jobs or Anal
Open-minded……………………………Desperate
Outgoing…………………….Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate………………………….Sloppy drunk
Poet…………………………………Depressive
Professional………………………………Bitch
Romantic………………………………….Frigid
Social…………………………………….A twat like a torn pocket
Cuddly……………………………………..Fat
Voluptuous……………………………..Very Fat
Large lady……………………………Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate………………………….Stalker
Widow…………………………………..Murderer

Most of the questions asked to sexual health experts are about men’s early ejaculations and women’s orgasm troubles. When you read this you may say: It’s normal, if man is coming off quickly, woman couldn’t have an orgasm! But if you really think for a few seconds, surprisingly, you won’t see any relation between these two events. Because, a man if he is not a boor, will prepare his woman to reach her orgasm before his ejaculation.

(more…)

A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together.
When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says,
“Sweetie, why don’t you give me a blowjob?”
“What? You’re crazy!”
“Don’t worry, it will be quick, no problem. ”
“No!! Someone may see — a relative, a neighbor. . . ”
“At this time of the night? No one will show up. . . ”
“”I’ve already said No, and NO!”
“Honey, it’s just a small blowie… I know you’d like it, too… ”
“”No! I’ve said NO!”
“My love. . . Don’t be like that… ”

At this moment, the girlfriend’s younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with
her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says,
“Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come
down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God’s sake, tell your boyfriend to take
his hand off the intercom!”.

Dear Diary,

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I have never figured out the whole ‘Venus and Mars’ thing. I’ve also never figured out why men think with their head while women think with their heart. And I’ve yet to figure out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words “I do”.

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says: “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me”.

I said: “WHAT??????”

So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I’m thinking: “What was her first clue?”. I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200.00 a pair to which I say ok. And then we go to the jewelry dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…….. she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don’t think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was ok.

She was so excited by all of this when she finally said: “I’m ready to go to the cash register”. I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out: “No, honey I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now.” You should have seen her face……it went completely blank. I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while”. And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man”.

I figure that I won’t be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008.