Mates in Minutes

A British radio DJ is mourning the loss of his 25,000 pounds ($48,000) Lotus Esprit Turbo car after his outraged wife sold the car on eBay UK for the grand sum of 50 pence (90 US cents)

Hayley Shaw became outraged after hearing her husband, Tim Shaw, interview model Jodie Marsh on his radio show. She became furious with the flirting but when Tim went too far by joking on-air that he would leave his wife and children for Marsh, Hayley completely snapped. She put his very expensive car on eBay with a buy-now-price of 50 pence (90 cents).

In what will go down as one of the greatest acts of marital revenge in history, Mrs Shaw wrote in the auction description : “I need to get rid of this car immediately - ideally in the next 2-3 hours before my cheating husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street.”

She finished with : ”I am the registered owner and I have the log book. Please only buy if you can pick up tonight.”

Needless to say, the car was snapped up immediately by eBay user ID “goddamn7” and Mr Shaw came home to find the driveway empty. He is now the unwilling celebrity on news programmes and the butt of jokes everywhere.

The radio station, Kerrang 105.2, based in Birmingham, said Mr Shaw was taking a few days off to talk things over with his wife.

“I am sick of him disrespecting this family for the sake of his act," said Mrs Shaw to the press. "Maybe it was childish but I had had a few drinks that night and I just thought I would get him back the best way I could. The car is his pride and joy but the idiot put my name on the log book so I just sold it. I didn’t care about the money, I just wanted to get him back," she added.

Oh, and to rub salt into the wounds, the buyer has left his positive feedback :
“thank you Hayley the car is excellent thank your hubby for me”

http://feedback.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedbackMemberLeft&memberid=goddamm7&items=-1&item=-1&de=off
 

A wife who suspected her husband of foul deeds has humiliated him by sending a vitriolic email from his laptop to his entire contact database. Titled “Time to ‘Fess up!”, the email - purporting to come from PR company boss Paul Evans - was not exactly subtle.

“I, Paul Owen Evans, am a snivelling, cheating, lying, arrogant little piece of shit. No, that’s not right - I’m worse than that: I’m a despicable, deceitful, dodgy, DICKHEAD who doesn’t reserve this attitude just for his wife. Oh yes, one more thing - I’ve got an extremely small penis that couldn’t excite a woman’s nostril let alone anything else. Thus endeth my confession. Regards. Paul Evans.”

We understand that Mrs Evans was not in a good mood (and Mr Evans is none-too-pleased either). Unfortunately, among Paul’s contacts were his bosses at Seat, as well those at Volkswagen, industry top-nobs, rally drivers and, of course, contacts and friends.

At the time of the mailing, Paul was attending a big car launch in Barcelona and the first he heard of it was when friends called him up. Mrs Evans was confronted at the family home and admitted she’d sent it to upset him but wouldn’t go into any further details.

Again, the power of email has been clearly demonstrated. It was only last month that Claire Swire and Bradley Chait became Net celebrities thanks to their frank discussion over the merits of Bradley’s love juice. Now half the country has heard about Paul Evans and his wife’s suspicions.

Scary ain’t it?

Incidentally, we were very interested to note the different approaches to this story by the Mirror and the Daily Mail. The Mirror blacked out the words “cheating”, “lying”, “deceitful” and “dodgy”. It also starred-out the word “shit” but had no problem with “dickhead” - even though it was in caps. The Mail, on the other hand, had no problem with the non-swear words, but “shit” and “dickhead” had to be replaced by Xs.

Also, while the Mirror reports that Paul looked as if he “didn’t have care in the world” when he returned to London yesterday, the Mail reckoned he “struck a forlorn, desperate figure”. You could tell he was very upset, apparently. Amazing how a man could be both relaxed and desperate at the same time.

Making love in a bar lavatory does not breach public decency laws so long as the door is shut, an Italian court ruled on Tuesday.
A Swiss couple was accused of committing obscene acts after the owner of a bar in the northern Italian town of Como caught them having sex in the lavatory, Ansa news agency reported.

(more…)

Sperm race TV show launched in Germany

A new reality TV show has been launched in Germany to find the man with the fastest sperm.

The sperm will be attracted to the finishing line by a chemical lure identical to that emitted by the female egg in the womb.

The aim is to find Germany’s most virile man in a new reality show being dubbed Sperm Race.

Twelve men, including two celebrities and a ‘health freak’, will take part in the show set to be aired later this year.

The show will follow the contestants as they make donations at a sperm bank. The frozen sperm will then be transported to the studio in Cologne.

Borris Brandt, 43, head of production company Endemol in Germany, rejected protests that the show was unethical, saying no human eggs would be fertilised.

“The main prize in the competition is a Porsche, not a baby. It’s actually a very scientific programme and the topic of fertility is massive in Germany at the moment,” he said.

The sperm will be released into a test tube in which a chemical substance will draw the fluid towards it

The winner will be pronounced by a team of doctors including a gynaecologist, an andrologist and a urologist.

Brandt added: “The programme isn’t immoral. We’re only testing, we’re not conceiving.”

Bosses at BP - Britain’s biggest firm - have fired off a memo to staff - asking them to stop having sex in the office.

It comes after romps in toilets, in a meeting room and behind cabinets were caught on CCTV cameras, says The Sun.
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A love pill for women will soon be available in Britain.

Femi-X is based on traditional herbal aphrodisiacs, reports the Daily Telegraph.

They include horny goat weed, gingko biloba, smilex, damiana and matté, said to enhance endurance.

A study in France found women taking the pill reported a “more satisfying sex life overall”.

Femi-X was produced by Danish company Denmark House with the help of a British herbal medicine expert.

Peter Houghton, professor of pharmacognosy at King’s College, London, said: “What the research study found was more satisfactory sex and increased sensitivity.

“There was also increased blood flow, an action a little like Viagra.

“We are not saying this would work for everyone. It would not turn someone on if they did not want to be. Rather, it is the icing on the cake.”

Source: Ananova

A gadget designed to drown out embarrassing noises of nature has become a top seller among women in Japan.

Manufacturers Toto claim to have more than doubled annual sales of the Sound Princess to more than 500,000 last year.

Women pass their hands over a sensor to trigger the noise of running water from a speaker, reports the Guardian.

The devices can now be found in shopping centres and restaurants but demand is greatest in the workplace.

“The core of our clientele is schools and companies,” said a Toto spokeswoman, Kumi Goto.

“Japanese women are very embarrassed by the sounds they make on the toilet.”

Men in part of India could face up to three years in jail if they are caught drinking without written permission from their wives.

The proposal is part of a women’s empowerment campaign in Bihar, reports the Mid-day newspaper.

The Bihar Women’s Commission says it would liberate women from the mental torture of their men returning home after drinking heavily and ‘creating scenes’.

The proposed new law is in a 78-page report produced by the BWC which has now been submitted to state Chief Minister Rabri Devi.

It argues that wives and children are the worst victims of male-alcoholism and there should be legislation to protect them.

“Women must be empowered to save themselves from their drunk men who torture them bodily and mentally. A three-year jail term would be an ideal threat perception for wine-zealots,” the report added

The Chief Minister’s office described the move as ‘a revolutionary step’

Source:Ananova

It’s here, it’s there, it’s everywhere!
Natural Noodling has spread like jam over the whole of the UK .

The French have topped a survey as being the people who have sex the most.

A survey found the French have sex 137 times during one year.

Condom Company Durex has released the result of its latest world sex survey, Las Ultimas Noticias reports.

The survey interviewed 350 thousand people in 41 different countries across the globe.

The Japanese got last place in the survey as they have sex in average 46 times during a year.

In Latin America Brazil got first place having sex 96 times in 365 days.

The British won the title for being the people who take longer getting warmed up for sex, 25 minutes in average.

The survey has also revealed that all over the world people have an average of 10.5 partners throughout life.

Source: Ananova